Sometimes, a really good kernel of advice gets so wrapped up in mediocrity that, while it sounds like good advice, it really becomes a seed of bad advice that harms organizations.
“Don’t be the smartest one in the room.”
Before we jump into the bad advice here, let’s dust off the kernel of good advice: Don’t let your own brilliance blind you to the contributions that others might make. I know, that’s not quite as pithy, but it’s better guidance.
If you’re in a room, there’s a purpose for that room: a project to advance, a decision to make, input to gather. If the room was well-crafted (hah!), then everyone in the room is there for a purpose. [very, very rarely is that purpose, “listen to someone pontificate.” Except for keynote talks.] Each participant’s presence in the room, and their energy investment, should be considered.
But, within that context, you should aim to be as smart as possible in the room. We’ll dissect what that means in a few moments; but first, let’s explore some counter advice. There’s a reason that people share the advice not to be the smartest one in the room: because it’s really easy to do it poorly.
Before even getting into the advice, a caveat: I’m intentionally not yet defining “smart.” Why? Because part of the challenge is that people approach with a different definition of “smart.”
How NOT to be the smartest one in the room
Never assume you’re the only smart one in the room. You might think you have the best solution to whatever is going on, and your first incorrect assumption is often assuming that you fully understand the situation, and that no one else has any understandings that you don’t have. Your conclusions might flow logically from your assumptions, but if your assumptions are flawed, so are your conclusions.
Never assume malice or incompetence. When others don’t agree with you, it’s easy to assume that they are acting out of some form of ill intent. While sometimes this is the case, it’s fairly rare in professional settings. Sometimes, you’re missing something. Maybe they’re missing something. To most people, they’re making good (if not great) choices, and if you can’t see how that’s the case, it’s a flaw in your viewpoint.
Never assume that others are wrong when they bring up things you didn’t know about. I used to have a colleague who would reflexive say, “That can’t possibly be true” whenever someone with more relevant expertise would bring up relevant information that might counter their own viewpoint. Ironically, they’d often then express that the colleagues clearly needed to open their minds to learning new things.
Never back yourself into a corner. Stridence may help push people away from arguing with you, but it also commits you to a position that might not be right. You might “win” the engagement in the room, but find yourself in fewer rooms in the future.
How to be the smartest one in the room
The reason that you’re in a room in the first place is to be smart. And by “smart,” in this case, I mean “contribute to creating the best outcome,” and “smartest” probably means “contributed the most value, while consuming the least energy.”
Know what you’re trying to achieve every time you communicate. Your goal isn’t to be seen to be smart (that’s a positive side effect), it’s to contribute value. So every time you communicate, ponder how this is going to spur action and contribute value. Actions that cost more energy in the room, without creating value? Might make you seem smart, but aren’t smart in the context of the room.
Leave yourself room to learn. Accept that you don’t know everything. If you think you can only see one solution, invite education with phrases like, “Unless I’m missing something,” or “Given what I can see, ….” If you’re wrong about the facts, this lets someone correct you non-confrontationally.
Listen for new perspectives … and adopt them. If every time there is a conversation, one of your colleagues raises the same objection, understand why they do that. When you propose solutions, do so having already taken that perspective and objection into account. You’ll move the room forward faster, and be even smarter as you go.
Identify false disagreements. When two people are trying to be smart at each other, oftentimes they’ll seemingly disagree, even when they’re not actually in disagreement. They might be using the same words to mean different things, or different words to mean the same thing, or have minor differences in priority that are distracting from the greater alignment. If you can spot these moments, you have the opportunity to easily get them on the same page, removing the energy drawn of a pointless argument.
When you “lose” an argument, move on gracefully. Tactically, this means not carrying a grudge, not trying to secretly veto the project later, and not being harmful to hte program. Strategically, this means you need to learn why you lost the argument. Did you lose because you’re not aligned with the rest of the team? Did you lose because there were things you didn’t know? Did you lose because you sabotaged yourself? Understanding how you lost will help you to be wiser about spending your energy in the future.
Be the smartest one in the room
The smartest one in the room is the one who adds the most value while spending the least energy, and creating the least disruption. That’s always a laudable goal. You don’t need people to always see or acknowledge that you’re the smartest onein the room, but everyone should always strive to become smarter in their own way.